I believe in tipping generously. I will tip anywhere from 20 to 50%. That’s right, I have tipped 50% on food bills because the service was exceptional. It is especially important to tip well in a place you go to frequently. If you get known as the person that tips well you will get service above and beyond.

I have seen a lot of people say that you should tip a server at least 20% no matter what because their entire paycheck relies on tips.

I call bullshit on that.

As I said before I am a generous tipper. But why should I automatically include a tip…a gratuity…even if the service is poor?

I’ll clarify here. I know if the food doesn’t taste good it is not the server’s fault. I know if it is cooked wrong it is not the server’s fault. I know that if the wait time for a table is long it is not the server’s fault. But if the service that the server is responsible for providing is poor then why do they automatically get a gratuity?

Now before you get all crazy and start yelling “fuck the server” while writing hateful messages on the table in ketchup let me point out there is a proper way to handle poor service in a restaurant.

If you are actually getting poor service then what you first need to do is calmly and politely tell the manager. Explain why you are not happy with the service and give them a chance to fix the situation. In a good restaurant the manager will also take care of the service issue properly even after you have left.

And sit back and try to see the situation from all angles. Is it truly poor service or are you just grumpy that day? Is it something that can slide, because maybe the server is having a shitty day.

After you speak to management, and I am sure a million or more people will disagree with me, I think it is perfectly fine to lower the amount of tip you give to the server. I would never leave off a tip completely, but if the service was poor enough to bring it to the manager’s attention then knock a few percentage points off the tip. The fact that you spoke to management will hopefully point out that you were truly displeased with your service and you aren’t just an asshole that tips poorly.

With all that being said, it does take a lot for me to deduct from a servers tip. I usually give at least 20% and can think of only one or two times in all of my life where the service was incredibly bad.

If you are constantly getting bad service you should take a good look in the mirror and ask why that might be.

And remind yourself…over tipping is just a good thing to do.


  1. “I know if it is cooked wrong it is not the server’s fault.”

    Sorry, but actually it **CAN** VERY MUCH be their fault:

    1. They can put in the order wrong to make it get cooked wrong(wrong steak temperature, eggs ordered sunny side up(put into the computer scrambled), forget to put the customer wanted their bacon crispy).

    2. They can SERVE it OBVIOUSLY wrong such as eggs ordered scrambled, but the plate clearly has on it a sunny side up egg(DUH)(could be that the server grabs the wrong plate to the kitchen staff made it the wrong way which in turn should not have been SERVED to the customer making that the server’s fault 100% if they served it or if another server runs the food, if the server put in the order correctly, that’s on the person that ran the food, NOT the kitchen staff.

    3. If something looks or smells BURNT and the customer didn’t order it that way, WHY would you still serve it??

    “I know that if the wait time for a table is long it is not the server’s fault.”

    That VERY WELL CAN be the server’s fault, here’s why:

    For **EVERY** MISTAKE a server makes, delays the customers from leaving, for some examples:

    1. A servers forget to put your order into the computer. VERY MUCH DELAYS the customers from that table from leaving PREVENTING the next party from sitting faster.

    2. A server puts in the order wrong or forgets to put something on the order(which is putting in the order wrong in a way). That delays the customer sitting there longer.

    3. The server drops your food. While this is rare, still can happen and it delays the customer from leaving their table so the next party can be seated.

    4. If the server overcharges you. You don’t realize HOW MANY TIMES me and my husband have been overcharged over the MANY YEARS(since late 2000 when we met), that we have been overcharged.

    5. When servers don’t put in your orders in order of turns. Here’s a person that works at a restaurant that proves you wrong here as to point out, the LONGER your server waits to put in your order, OBVIOUSLY the LONGER YOU SIT, therefore, that creates longer waits for a table:

    flowwiththego said:

    “Springs does make some good points. In my experience, at least half the time if not more it is the servers fault when food takes too long. for example, I hate when the servers hold their tix and put in 4 (or even three) at once. They are not allowed to do that. So the first table has to wait extra long and other servers got tix in also. I can’t tell you how many times someone will say they have been here for 45 minutes and the tix time says they were 20 minutes.”

    flowwiththego said:

    “I had a server last year who twice in one day did not realize she had customers waiting and hour and did not get food. One tix she forgot but one tix one of the cooks put it on the done spindle instead of on the board. The thing is though her section was only five tables and c’mon how do you not realize that one of your tables didn’t get food but tables 20 minutes after them did? We were slammed but still. Like I wrote it is a tough profession that most people couldn’t do.”

    flowwiththego said:

    “yesterday we had five tables come in literally at once. No other ticket on the board at the time. Two three tops and three two tops. The two waitresses alternate tables when their is only two of them. Now the one waitress is the only one who consistently asks us where her food is and that her table is getting mad. Well, guess what I observed her doing? She put three orders in at once. She got the first table then went to the next table and after that went to the next table. I was nice but explained that what she was doing was against company policy. I explained that her first table had to wait and that the other server got her tix in before her even though her first table was there before everyone else. I also told her that at least 75% of the time it is the servers fault when an order takes too long. I also told her that we know now why she is the only server who has customers getting mad because their food took too long on a consistent basis. I told her if she needed to save time to get faster on the pos system.”

    6. When servers don’t go to put in the orders to clean up or anything else. Not just get other people’s orders that didn’t call them over, but if you clean up before putting or going to get my order while it sits, YES, it’s******CONTRIBUTING******** to the longer wait that the table I am sitting at is not available for another party.

    7. Did you forget to bring anything I asked for? Every single thing you forget, you delay us from leaving.

    8. Did you bring me food that was obviously prepared wrong to my table such as if I asked for bbq sauce “on the side” and “no bbq sauce on ribs, but you still bring me a plate of ribs slathered with bbq sauce, even if you put in the order correctly, bringing me the food OBVIOUSLY(meaning you don’t have to touch the food to notice it’s wrong), is a delay that contributes to a longer wait for a table.

    9. When do you come to get my order?

    Here’s a real story that happened to us:

    Once, we had a waitress that greeted us which we ordered an appetizer as well as our drinks when greeted. I saw she tucking in chairs at empty tables and pretty much doing everything but coming back to get our entrée order. Well, I found out what happened. She brought out our appetizer and when I asked she said that she wanted to wait to put in our entrée orders. The thing is, that delayed us more by not at least coming to GET our orders. That way, when the appetizer was ready, we wouldn’t have gotten delayed eating our appetizer since we then had to give our entrée orders when we could have given our entrée orders WELL BEFORE THAT and we would have gotten our entrées faster due to that she could have just left to put our entrée orders into the computer after delivering our appetizer instead of taking time to order when our appetizer was sitting in front of us. The point is, SHE delayed our entrées as well as to be able to start eating our appetizer because she could have at least TAKEN our entrée orders and then when our appetizer would have been brought out, could have immediately gone to the computer to put our entrée orders in. What she did was make us wait while our hot appetizer was sitting in front of us, we couldn’t touch it, because we had to order our entrées and could have done that wayyy before that. She also delayed our entrées because we had to spend extra time AFTER our appetizer arrived to give her our entrée orders when we could have done that wayyyy before that.

    My point of that is, if there is a wait for a table, our waitress CONTRIBUTED to the longer wait for a table ON PURPOSE of all things, NOT by accident, not only by delaying our food from getting to us our new orders, but now we couldn’t start eating our appetizer because we had to tell her our orders(which mine had a lot of medications), so she was there not just 3 seconds.

    10. When do you let me order? Your server delays coming to get your order or delays you ordering due to personal conversation. We have had that before as well. Once, we had a waiter that we didn’t know after waiting 15 mins. for a table on Mardi Gras day ask us BEFORE we ORDERED ANYTHING “How’s y’all’s Mardi Gras” “Go to any parades.” See, I don’t mind chit chat with a stranger, but be considerate to do it AFTER we have our orders into the computer so you don’t take up our time.

    Think about delays that if you are worried about BS chit chat when customers wanted to order, then the next set of people are waiting longer for our seat since our food will take longer due to OUR SERVER, NOT the kitchen staff. Chit chat should be for when you have time like during a slow time, NOT during a time where there are waits for a table.

    11. WHEN do you decide to check up on WHERE the food is? If the kitchen staff somehow lost the ticket, did you wait 30 minutes and then decide to find out that or did you check after 10-15 minutes to see that our food was getting started on?

    This one is really covered by flowwiththego “One tix she forgot but one tix one of the cooks put it on the done spindle instead of on the board. The thing is though her section was only five tables and c’mon how do you not realize that one of your tables didn’t get food but tables 20 minutes after them did? ”

    Servers have to check up on the food, otherwise, the customers will be there longer, creating longer waits for a table for the next party. While the kitchen staff initially messed up, the server should have gone to check up the food A LOT SOONER than what she did this person(flowwiththego) pointed out.

    12. Do you, because they are out of something, decide to assume everyone wants the closest thing so you do the ordering for me? This is getting your order wrong, but on PURPOSE. Here’s a REAL STORY we went through:

    Once, we had a waitress that assumed that because they were out of raspberry topping for a cheesecake slice when we had ordered dessert that she’d bring us strawberry. Turns out, she knew when she put in the order that the computer had it the manager told us. So she did it on PURPOSE to be so lazy and uncaring as to not come to ask if we wanted the next closest thing. We didn’t, we sent it back, so she had MORE WORK. Also, she didn’t even think about what if someone is allergic to strawberries. I just honestly can’t believe someone would do that. If they are out of something, common sense would be to come to see if the next closest thing is ok. Not everyone wants the next closest thing. So it wasn’t like it was just getting the order wrong by accident or by not verifying the written order with what she was bringing or putting in the order wrong by accident, this was on PURPOSE to be LAZY and to ASSUME. I didn’t know at first that she did that. I thought at first she just was that stupid(or truly just messed up(highly doubt it)) to bring us strawberries on top of a cheesecake when we ordered raspberries.

    My point of this was, we sat longer due to our waitress that purposely put in the order wrong, not by accident. She just ordered for us WHATEVER she wanted and ASSUMED we’d be happy with the closest thing. As I said above, what if the person was allergic? That would have been even a longer delay to deal with. Some people with allergies, just being around the stuff makes them have issues(such as people with peanut allergies). So if the customer had an allergic reaction to it being that close to the strawberries, that would have delayed things even more so.

    13. Delivering things off a tray and even putting them on the tray for multiple tables in the correct order. This story really happened:

    Once, we had a Red Lobster waitress had our 2 entrées on the tray as well as 2 side salads that were for a couple that wasn’t even there when we ordered. Anyway, instead of bypassing their table to hand us ours first since WE DID ORDER FIRST(common sense would tell you that it takes more time to cook food than it does to fix a side salad anyways even if it wasn’t our server that delivered our food, but it was our waitress that delivered our food), she decided to hand them theirs first off the tray.

    First off, putting another server’s food on the tray is seconds taking away from the our food since we had ordered BEFORE that couple(couple wasn’t even there even) and secondly, by handing it out of order, since we were seated WAYYY BEFORE that other couple, it made us not be able to start eating to have the table available faster for people waiting for a table, because we would have been done faster than the other table since they were just starting their side salads, we were receiving our entrées. So our table would have been done before theirs to give up to the next party.

    14. Did you forget my food entirely? A lot of times we have had bar drinks completely forgotten that we ordered. It had been sitting there. Servers can still forget people’s entrées entirely to bring out just as anything else. I know this is sort of the same as the other one I said about forgetting food, but this is the entire thing I am saying that they may just forget to bring out the food completely and it sits. That contributes to a wait for a table.

    So you are VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY WRONG on what you are saying. You are sure not thinking with common sense.

    “Explain why you are not happy with the service and give them a chance to fix the situation. ”

    Some managers will not agree with you. I have had this happen ON MANY OCCASIONS, because the managers are lazy as well. For example, I told a manager about a waitress that when I ordered a strawberry shortcake martini, she brought me a glass that had chocolate syrup in it before she poured it from the shaker. His IDIOTIC response was “You know the bartender’s make the drinks right?” I told him but she could still see that chocolate syrup wasn’t the drink I ordered though like she shouldn’t have left the bar with the drink, since that’s not what a strawberry shortcake is even made of. The description on the had NOTHING about chocolate syrup it had “Strawberry puree AND *VANILLA PUREE*. That is what a strawberry shortcake would not have would be chocolate syrup. My point is, a lot of managers are TOO LAZY to TRAIN their staff to not serve something that doesn’t *LOOK* right even if the server put in the order correctly, it’s the server’s job to **SERVE** it as correctly as they possibly can. Why would you serve someone something and not know WHAT you are serving them, then expect a good tip for not CARING about what you are serving them?? That makes no sense at all.

    My main point is, a lot of managers are JERKS. They don’t care to fix the issues. I have had at that same restaurant a different manager and had wrong prices 3 times. The manager REFUSED to get corporate to fix the issue in the computer and REFUSED to train his servers to not charge a dollar more on an item until the newer menus came in. If anything, his attitude was “No one tells me when they aren’t charged for something.”

    So you see, telling a manager doesn’t always help. Some are jerks.

    “I would never leave off a tip completely,”

    Sorry, but you either must of not had horrible service before or are too lenient. There are sometimes where stiffs are deserved. Once, I was with another couple and a guy friend of ours. We had 3 separate checks total. Our waitress said “I don’t have a change bank” to the guy friend that was paying his own check with cash and PURPOSELY REFUSED to return $9 of HIS CHANGE. As I said, she claimed she didn’t have a change bank. She also gave me the empty gift card of the 2 of them I paid me and my husband’s check with. So she stole TWICE. We ALL stiffed her for stealing. She did it TWICE to us. We were very nice to her and I even gave her when we had her(just me and my husband) before 26% the time before we had her. The only thing I can see why is either A, because we asked for separate checks she was pissed or B. Because I wrote some things she could improve on in the survey(this was at a Chili’s). She got fired and to me, I hope they arrested her. Stealing is STEALING, PERIOD. So yeah, she deserved to get stiffed. I will NEVER agree with you that servers always deserve something.

    “With all that being said, it does take a lot for me to deduct from a servers tip.”

    Not me. You are too lenient. That’s what **CONTRIBUTES** to bad service is to let this slide and that slide. It’s one thing to let a small issue slide or two, but you can’t do it all the time and if it’s something major that they don’t even apologize for, it shouldn’t be slided.

    ” I usually give at least 20% and can think of only one or two times in all of my life where the service was incredibly bad.”

    Lucky you. We get bad service A LOT. You probably don’t order modified orders, do you? Do you even watch if your server is cutting in front of your turn or not? You probably don’t even know if you have had bad service such as do you check your bill for every price matching the menu and to make sure there are no extra items or wrong items on your bill? If not, you don’t know.

    “If you are constantly getting bad service you should take a good look in the mirror and ask why that might be.”

    This is 100% WRONG in most cases. Do I make them be lazy? NO. Do I make them not say they are sorry when I was VERY NICE to them? NO. Do I make them do mean things like intentionally not give back change or lie about whose fault something is? NO. Do I make them not check over things so they brought me the wrong thing because they didn’t **CARE** to even **TRY*? NO.

    It’s not my fault most servers are lazy and uncaring individuals. Think about the idiot server that brought me the chocolate syrup in the martini glass. Even if let’s say she was new(she wasn’t that I know of, because I think the manager would have pointed that out when I spoke to him), for one thing, since when does chocolate ANYTHING made into a normal real typical strawberry shortcake? That’s common sense. Then, they had a bar drink menu that had descriptions of what the drinks had in them. She didn’t compare that to what she was bringing out.

    I know why that might be: LAZY AND UNCARING SERVERS that aren’t willing to **TRY THEIR BEST**. That is truly why.

    “over tipping is just a good thing to do.”

    ONLY when it’s DESERVED! We have overtipped 25%-30% and even more sometimes. I even gave 2 of my favorite servers one year $20 christmas bonuses even along with their normal tips we gave of 25%-30%. When it’s not deserved, you are helping them be lazy and uncaring. Pay someone well to be lazy and uncaring makes ZERO SENSE. It CONTRIBUTES to continue bad service.

    “Is it something that can slide, because maybe the server is having a shitty day.”

    Now that doesn’t matter. So the customer has a shitty day, it’s not right for us to be mean to them, so it goes both ways. Sorry, but NO, that’s not acceptable. Our lives are EQUALS in this world. They don’t get more chances than we do. That’s not fair.

    • Still not sure if this is spam.

      • Why would it be spam? I am telling you the truth about every thing. Every mistake a server makes creates waits for a table. I know, we have been through it. If let’s say the server you are going to have has overcharged the customer, the customer can’t leave until their bill is fixed causing the (YOU) the next party not to get seated at the table faster.

        We have had servers that forgot to put in our order and put in our orders wrong, don’t you think we sat there LONGER waiting to eat, therefore, when they was a wait for a table, we sat there longer due to OUR SERVER?? YES, because we would have left A LOT SOONER if we would have had our food faster.

        Think with *COMMON SENSE*! Servers have a lot to do with waits.

        Also, if your server puts in “medium rare” for your steak by accident in the computer, but you actually ordered your steak “medium well”, obviously you are going to get your steak and send it back that it’s not cooked enough that causes a delay as you were brought the food, it wasn’t cooked correctly because your server put the order in wrong and had to get it sent back. Also, it could be the other way around that you ordered your steak “medium rare”, but your server put in ” well done”, so now they have to cook a WHOLE ANOTHER steak entirely due to YOUR SERVER since the cook only went by the ticket. Also, let’s say at your table, the person you were with had a salad with some fried chicken strips, so it didn’t take very long to make. So your entire party waited longer to get their food, then it was completely wrong so you had to send your food back(just the steak) and had to make a completely different one from scratch considering it was overcooked(can’t undo overcooked), causing wayyyy more of a delay than if it was the other way around that you needed your steak cooked a little more. Anyway, if there was a wait for a table, you would have been there MUCH LONGER due to **YOUR SERVER** and that party that is waiting let’s say they ended up having your server, YES that server they ended up having caused their delay of waiting to get a table. Even if let’s say they end up not having that server, they could have had a seat sooner if your table would have been available a lot sooner.

        Do you see where I am coming from? HOW ANYTHING I have said was spam? Just because it’s a long post doesn’t mean it’s spam. This is not made up stuff. It’s REAL! Think about it with COMMON SENSE!

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